Wednesday, June 17, 2026

The Boot!

You ever have somebody just plain drag you down? I hope not, because, oof! That's the worst!

Now you're wondering how I know this, right? I hear it rattling around in your heads like, "Wait, Sash lives with a freakin' boatload of awesome people, doesn't she? Has she been holding out on us and not letting on that one of them is an el stinko?"

Well, it's an indirect kinda thing. Obviously, my whole crew of yams is a hundred percent fab-o-king-crab-o with the perfect amount of melted butter on the side. Buhhhht we've had this non-yam roommate for a while who's been cramping our style like a charley horse in both legs on top of it being that time of the month squared. Maybe even cubed.

And they just moved! SCORE!!!

My boyfriend was forever stressing over this person and what kind of griping and complaining they'd get up to next, or trash they'd leave out all over the place. You name it, they'd complain about it or mess it up or park their car in the way of right where we needed our car to go.

And how many pictures do you need to hang in the middle of the night? How loud does every podcast you listen to have to be? Why are you always leaving dirty dishes in the sink when we're doing you a favor letting you stay here?

Anyway, between dealing with their crap and dealing with MSG's stress over their crap, we've had months of style-cramps by the mega-amps, and now all of that is rearview-mirrorsville!

Congratulations, us!

With any luck, we can get back to our more usual selves now and start cranking out more blog posts and gaming and everything.

Sooo ....

LET'S JAM!

Sashagirl!


Monday, August 18, 2025

Challenge Topic! What Is Your Favorite Thing In The Whole World? GO!!!!!

Okay, well, super-boringly I have to skip my first six favorite things because they're my yams and anybody who knows anything about me already knows that.

So what's the competition for seventh-favorite-thing-in-the-whole-world?

BRAINSTORM SESH!

Games!

Music!

Air drumming!

Thuh nazstyyy!

Star Warses and Marvelses!

Lying on a blanket at night looking up at the stars with somebody I love!

Specific games! Like ...

HeroScape!

DragonBane!

Dungeon Crawl Classics!

Mothership!

Reading stuff, like ...

My boyfriend's books!

My girlfriends' blogs!

Manga!

Directions on the back of the margarita mix!

Okay, okay, I think that's enough options.

So what do I pick?

AIR DRUMROLL, PLEASE!!!

DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-POW!

The answer is: ME!

Faked you out, right? (Specially after last post when I said I wasn't going to blog about myself anymore!)

Thing is, though, if you're going to do life right, somewhere near the top of your list has got to be you.

I don't mean you've got to be the most important thing in your life, or the thing you spend the most time on -- and I definitely don't mean the thing you spend the most time thinking about.

But you need to be way up there as one of your favorites or how can you be happy?

You gotta appreciate yourself. There's nobody like you!

So that's my answer. Right after my six yams, I'm my seventh-favoritest thing in the world. There you go.

Sashanatashalaspicykiolbasa, out!

Sunday, August 17, 2025

What if ...

Just hear me out here, people.

What if blogging by myself isn't really all that much my thing?

Let me pause a sec and see if I hear a big I CALL BULLSHIT! from anywhere.

Okay, I didn't, but now I'm really bugged by the actual shit color I used for "I call bullshit" there. Dang, kabang, what a gross color.

Get it together, Sash!

Sorry, folks, seems like I can't even write a blogging-in-crisis post for shit. DO I SUCK AT THIS?

I mean, I went back just before starting this post and reread a whole bunch of this blog, and there's some pretty good stuff in there and all, but SO MUCH FUCKING RAMBLING!

Yeah, most of the posts have some style and Va-VOOM to them, but it's like ...

Why do I not have anything really to say in most of them?

There was that one where my boyfriend called me his most mysterious girlfriend, told me he kept learning all these new things about me, so how exactly am I not living up to that here?

IS MY BOYFRIEND AN IDIOT?!?

I mean, I know it's not that. He's awesome-floss! (Meaning he, like, helps you have a bright sparkly smile, and I think it's a good habit to do him after every meal, you know?)

But if I'm so full of mystery and depths, why isn't it coming out here?

Anyway, I'm here thinking about all this and that's when the big question came up.

Am I maybe forcing myself to do this because I let my yams force me into making a blog when really it's just not my jam?

Or ...

Do I just not know who I'm writing this for or why?

Guys, I am not somebody in need of a big heap o self discovery.

My life ROCKS.

I love being me!

Maybe that's what I need to write about. Not the "being me" part, but all the reasons my life rocks so hard.

My yams!

Our hobbies!

Rainbows and moonlight and KRA-KOWWWW thunderstorms!

Maybe I've been dope-tastically trying to write about me here so much, I haven't been writing about much of the stuff that actually interests me. Makes me laugh. Makes me happy. Makes me shoot rootbeer out my nose at the worst moment!

Okay. I think maybe I've got a strategy going here.

Check in next time and see if I'm working it right.

SASHA!!!


Wednesday, July 30, 2025

OOF!

Dang, gang. I super-stepped in it after talking big last post, huh?

I mean, if I'd just written that post two days earlier, I could pretend it was an April Fool's joke.  But no such luck. Not only was it not one week, and not two weeks -- it's been almost four months since I promised my very next post was gonna wow everybody.

It's the let-down of all let-downs! Criminy! Maybe even Crime-in-Knee! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?

So how am I gonna get out of this one. I could blame Claire again -- that girl may be my role model, but she's full of ALL these IDEAS. This time she came up with this email game for us to play where one yam would email another yam about a third yam saying all kinds of great things about them. And yeah, it was fun and all, but it totally shot our blogging streak all to Hellmann's Mayonnaise.

Orrrrr I could blame our boyfriend because he begged us all to play D&D with the new D&D books that came out ... or Akane because she volunteered to be the Dungeon Mistress and immediately started doing a KICK ASS job of it.

Sheesh, though, any of those would suck because honestly, I just kind of forgot.

And now here it is, and I promised it would have ALL THE SASHA THINGS and what it's got is a bunch of excuses and blaming other people and being a total scatterbrain ...

YEEK -- those aren't my thing, are they?

Get it together, Sash. Holy clambolli, there might be people here reading this post right now!

Step up!

Smash it! In fact ...

SASHAMASH IT!

Yes!

You got the plan, let it out of the can!

I WILL!!!

Definitely! In like ... a week.

Or maybe two.

You'll see!

Till then,
Sasha Natasha KaSplashaVaVOOM!

Thursday, April 3, 2025

Multi-effing-faceted!

Dang, ka-bang -- I totally just read back over my most recent posts and I'm totally coming off uno-dimensional. Anybody who just started reading recently probably thinks, "This chica kinda has only one thing on her mind, huh?"

Well, I'm here today to tell you, no way!

There's plenty of times I have two things on my mind.

That's a joke!

(Sometimes true though.)

So it looks like it's time for your girl Sasha to power-up and BLOW OFF THE BLOGGING ROOF!

Next post is going to be the most MAXXED-OUT message of mad manuscripting skills you've ever seen!

It's going to have 

ALL THE SASHA THINGS

and by the end of it you're going to be nodding your head in a daze like, "Whoa, dude, there's so much to this girl!"

Just watch!

(Like, a week from now.)

Sashonara, people!

(Maybe two weeks.)

Friday, March 21, 2025

Oh, Yeah!

Cut to the chase! Everybody waiting to find out whether last post's topic brought home the bacon, the answer is ... hell to the yesssss!

Hot! Sizzling! Loud and lush!

We totally knocked it outta the park.

Score!

Also ... daayyyummmm, can that guy kiss!

Saturday, March 1, 2025

Okay, okay, topic acquired!

So now that it's all-blogging, all-the-time around here, or at least all-blogging, every-six-days if I'm seriously gonna keep up with everybody else in this Claire-brained scheme of one Worthy girl blogging every day, obvo I've got to come up with a crap-ton of post ideas or else twist Ariel's arm into a pretzel trying to get her to team up with me once a week on our Experiences blog.

Today, it's Post Idea Time! And I've got a great one, because if I play it right ... it's gonna get me some!

Anybody remember my leg injury? Or my other leg injury? Well don't worry, my leg's all better -- but for some reason, everybody's favorite boyfriend around here still gets nervous about it when we're doin' the deed.

Suckage!

(And not the doin'-the-deed kind of suckage, the kind of suckage that actually sucks!)

I haven't gotten pushy about it because, duh, I've got five girlfriends to take up the slack, and all of them know how to yam-bam-thank-you-ma'am like total champs of ka-BAM.

Which means on the one hand I'm getting plenty, while on the other hand I'm not getting any.

So I'm putting it out there here and now, whether it embarrasses him or not ...

You're on notice, boyfriend!

Whenever my turn to blog comes around again, if you haven't put out yet, I'm blogging about it that time too.

No mercy!

You know you want it, I know you want it, and now EVERYBODY's gonna know I want it and I'm not getting it.

Until you fix the sitch, I'm gonna b****! Until you bring the bone, I'm gonna moan!

(Actually, once you bring the bone I'm still a hundred por ciento gonna moan, just in a way you'll appreciate way more -- got it? Great! Then let's get to it!)

Problem solved!

Tune in next week to find out which way it went!

Sasha out!

Saturday, February 22, 2025

This Again!

Okay, so, my yams are the ones who had the "awesome" idea of me doing this blog, and I'll admit, it's been pretty fun sometimes, especially since I've stayed totally chill about how often I come here and blast out whatever crazy stuff decides it needs typing.

Only now, my absolute role-model of a yam, Claire, had another "awesome" idea, which is to skimp on her previous idea of blogging every day herself, and instead encourage one of us girlfriends to blog each day. Meaning I'd end up having to blog like, once a week!

(And when I asked if it counted blogging with Aers on our Experiences blog, she said that sounded kinda cheaty to her. Cheaty?!? How can it be cheaty if she's the one who's making up the rules for this and she hasn't actually made a rule about it yet?)

I thought for a couple seconds whether I ought to stage a full-scale Sashabellion against the whole deal ... but you know, Claire's got those sweet glittery-green eyes that can look at you and make you feel like you can do any damn thing in the world. And she's the one saying I'm being cheaty? Seriously, that Claire stare is just plain unfair!

It didn't take much of that for me to knuckle under.

And dangit if this post wasn't pretty easy to write. I guess I'm just screwed here.

Tune in again next week and see if I have smashed my way out of these chains of tyranny!

Monday, March 11, 2024

WhamBamShazam-iversary!

I'm a few days late blogging about this, but hot damn, did we ever have a fantastic anniversary!

This place is cram-packed with anniversaries because I've got so many yams and most of us showed up at different times, but I happen to think my anniversary is the A-number-one-est of them all -- no lie! And, no, it isn't just because it's my anniversary, the point where I got brought into things big-time. It's also pretty much the yamiversary of our polyamorous yamily here at Worthy Acres.

Before that day (March 6, 2019, if you want to keep track and come back some other March 6 and wish me an awesome-sauce-tastic one), there was mostly Claire and MSG doing the heavy relationship lifting around here. Elle and I spiced up the hootchie-koo activities pretty often, and I put my toe in the rpg water once. But at some point, it dawned on us that this thing was hovering in the air all around us, like electro-zap-static energy on a dry winter day, and we needed to be an us, not just a the-two-of-them-plus-a-couple-of-friends-with-benefits. (Yeah, yeah, Elle was never just that coz she and Claire were bodymates, but the playing field was waaay less than level.)

So. On that day (five years plus five days ago from tonight), we ka-powed our way into this email explosion and suddenly we were yamming it up and rpg-ing left and right and just being a very happy four of us.

They're special people, you know? And they think I'm crazy-special too. (Which, duh, obviously they're right about!)

Five years and five days later, I still feel like that's pretty much when my real life started.

Thanks, you three! I love the CRAP out of you!!!

Monday, August 28, 2023

Back in the Action of Sweet Satisfaction!

So yeah, like, I hurt my leg again and had to some more way-too-long recovering, but I'm back, peeps!

Totally, so, so back. 

Dang, though, not coming up with much to blog about here. But you know what? That's not only okay, it's better than okay.

It's RAD.

Like singing in the shower. Or that dancing-while-nobody's-looking deal.

(And let me tell you, I can hot-cha cha-cha when no one's looking, and I am AWESOME at showering! Maybe not at the singing part, but dayum can I ever steam up the bathroom with a slippery sluicy drippy and juicy ten minutes under the showerhead.)

Is this my best blog post? HELL NO!

But I'm good with that.

In fact, I'm great with it!

Time to make the doughnuts, baby!


Sunday, May 14, 2023

What a Week!!!

Damn, ya'll!

Monday: Ariel's anniversary!

Tuesday: Literally f***ing awesome.

Wednesday: UPS says Giant Size Akane is almost here!

Thursday: SHE'S HERE

Friday: Extreme party-tastic action!!!

Saturday: Even better partying down-to-the-ground AND tons of Boba Fett episodes AND blogging with Aers!

Today: I don't know, it just got started. What, do I look like some kinda Jedi?

Summary time!

Rockin' week, and almost all because of my amazing yams.

THANK YOU, YAMS!!!

Everybody else ... I hope this week is as good for you as this past week was for me!

Saturday, May 13, 2023

Crushing it!

You may not believe it, but whoever you are out there reading this, you are crushing it!

Maybe you're thinking, "What the hell, Sasha, you don't even know me or what's going on with me or whether I'm crazypants kookoo or totally chillaxed and on top of things!" And the odds are pretty good you're right about that.

BUT!

Is there any other you? I bet not. And that means ...

Nobody's as good at being you as YOU are.

Like, even if someone has practiced and figured out how to do a pretty good impression of you, they've got no idea how to actually be you. (Also, congratulations for knowing someone who would practice doing an impression of you! That rocks!)

And if you're thinking, "My life sucks. I can't do anything right. What the hell do you mean, I'm crushing it?" you wanna know the answer? Just imagine someone you think has a way easier time of things than you do and seems to do a way better job of things than you do ...

What if they were suddenly you -- including having all those downer feelings about themselves? I'm betting they'd suck at being you! They couldn't take it!

You've got a shit-ton more practice at being you than they'll ever have, and as far as people who seem to have an easy time of stuff? Guess what! Probably the thing they have the easiest time of is hiding all the things they have a hard time at. They've figured out their sweet spots and how to show those off, but if they suddenly had to be you? They'd totally freak.

And if you're reading this and thinking, "Damn, girl, missed me by a mile! I don't think any of that depresso-bummer stuff about myself," then like I said ... you're crushing it!

Anyway, if you needed this pep-talk and now you realize that you're the best person at being you that there ever could be ... time to CRUSH IT HARDER!

(p.s., my girlfriend Claire is a zillion times better at writing this kind of peppy stuff than I am, but you know what? Doesn't matter! I still CRUSHED it!)


Tuesday, May 9, 2023

Dang! That Took WAAYYYY Too Long!!!

Yeah, so I was having this leg problem, and it was interfering with some pretty important stuff, but not interfering with other important stuff like blogging or playing roleplaying games or making out or really, most things.

But definitely like, one major big-time muy importante thing.

And over the weekend, it finally got better enough to carefully check if, yep, the time was right to get back to that thing.

KaaaPOW!

YES!

It was definitely better enough, and the carefully checking version of that one activity ... esplédido!

Soooo ... this morning I pinned my boyfriend down and we did the not-so-carefully-checking version.

Wow. I so totally did not know how much I was missing that.

Oh, and just being ultra-clear about the title of the post, this morning's important thing was not what took way too long -- it was the leg recovering part I was writing that about!

This morning took just the perfect amount of long enough to be

EXPLOSIVE!!!

Back on track, people!

(Maybe I'll get this blog back on track too ...)

Saturday, December 31, 2022

2022 ... Done!

Yep, that's it. Let me tell you though, I had a BLAST this year. Blogged a pretty good amount ... emailed an okay amount ... boinked until I literally hurt myself ...

It's been a good year, 1000 percent!

Come at me, 2023! I'm ready for another one!

Friday, November 4, 2022

Case Closed!

So get this. Yesterday, my otherwise espléndido boyfriend tells me -- IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX -- that I'm his most "mysterious" girlfriend.

What!!!

I mean, peeps, I think I'm pretty wackadoo straightforward as girlfriends go, especially compared to some of the other ladies around here.

It's like, advertising for me would say, "SASHA! What you see is WHAT YOU GET!"

If there's any mystery going on, it's why in the world I answered him back with, "Huh? What are you talking about?" instead of saying, "Dude! Can you please FOCUS?!?"

(Okay, so actually, he was multi-tasking excelentemente right then, and I don't mind a talk-it-while-you-rock-it convo in general, but it was still a weird-ass statement, you know?)

So I made him explain himself, which he did, with appropriate pauses for more urgent issues.

And the short version is, he said he meant he's always learning things about me, and I'm always surprising to him. And that makes him wonder what other things there still are for him to learn that I haven't let him in on yet.

Which, obviously, I then said, "Dude, that's not mystery. That's just personal growth and me not being so full of myself I'd keep yammering away about me, me, me until you knew everything there was to know. And the 'always surprising' part is called SPONTANEITY."

(Pause for a second here. Is it just me, or does that word look TOTALLY WRONG in all caps? Like, my brain doesn't even want to recognize the damn thing. Although ... maybe the all-caps just made me notice it being a weird-looking word. How about we try it without the caps ... "spontaneity." Okay, yeah, it looks weird as crap that way too. I think it's because the vowels. I was going to say because the vowels are mixed up, but then I realized, no, there are just too many of them. Why didn't they go ahead and put a U in there too just to hit them all? But anyway, the vowels are def backwards, at least the A and the E. I can't be the only one who saying it spontehnayity, right?)

All right, actually that's not what I said, I'll admit it. But it's what I would have said if I wasn't busy saying, "Oh! Yes! Holy sh*t, yes! There, baby, right there!"

Anyway, long story short, he's crazy, there's nothing mysterious about me at all. 

Although I did maybe take advantage of him saying that to order him to "plumb my depths" several times before I let him up.


Friday, September 9, 2022

ZAM!! GAZOW!!!

Listen up, boyfriend!!!!

(I'll let you other people listen too, 'cause this is gonna be some ROCKIN' advice!)

You've been doing pretty good lately about not getting super punky over stuff going on in the world & your life, but dayum, man, NO ENERGY. So I can tell things have you down even if they don't have you as all-the-way down as you sometimes get.

You need to Sashatize yourself!

(No, I don't mean get your sizzlin'-kapow little sexpot girlfriend to go off in bed with you LIKE A BOMB [although holy shit can we ever do that too! {and pretty soon, I hope! <what the hell, that curly bracket is totally the worst fucking bracket ever! no more of that shit!> oh damn, I have to do another one to close it off} completely losing track of my thought with all this parenthesization stuff - wait, whew, I think I remember now], keep reading and I'll explain!)

Living example, right here, right now, of what you need to do!

BE LIKE ME!!!

How does Sasha Natasha Worthy live her life? I know you know!

I!

Live!

My!

Life!

Like!

I'm!

AN!!

EXCLAMATION MARK!!!

"Oh, but Sasha," you're saying, Mister But Sasha, using the worst kind of but, "that's just how you are. That's you, babe."

Nuh-UH!!

(I mean, a little bit...)

You think I don't choose to be this way?

Me being me makes it a pretty effing easy choice, I'll admit, but I do still have to choose it! I could sit around knitting or crocheting or something instead (and I'd get pretty damn fine at it!), or I could, like, read news stories and then fall on the floor and stare up at the ceiling thinking something like, holy F, Sasha, why did you do that?!? This world is fucked up!

But every day, instead of knitting or crocheting or crushing my soul under current events, I get up and I say,

I'M SASHA, DAMMIT!!! LET'S DO THIS THING!!!!

None of this, "uhhgh, I haven't had my coffee," shit or "I'd better ease into things slow today, I think I'll sit on the couch and look at Twitter and Facebook. Just a  little, not very long ..."

As soon as I'm up ... WHAMMO!!! Sashatime!!!

Give it a shot, okay? And that question mark right there was totally rhe-flippin-torical!

I COMMAND YOU TO GIVE IT A SHOT!

Any questions? Too bad!! NO QUESTIONS ALLOWED!!!

DO IT!!!!

(Love you!! Mwah!!!)

Sasha

Friday, June 24, 2022

Wow! Hettie's really making me look like a super-good Dungeon Master!

Hey, everybody, you know how I said last time we were going to play D&D with me as Dungeon Master? Well, it went awesome! Everybody had tons of fun, and we're going to have another session as soon as we can.

I'm crap at taking notes, though, so I didn't figure I'd be able to give a good run-down of our gaming here ... except Hettie surprised me by doing her own writeup of the first bit of our first session!

She seems to think she didn't do that great a job, though, so if anybody's out there reading this, please drop a comment to encourage her to do more!

(Oh, spoiler alert -- the adventure we're playing is called "The Incandescent Grottoes" for the game Old School Essentials. Read at your own risk if you don't want any of it spoiled ... although it ended up taking the group a really long time before they got to the grottoes, so Hettie's writeup doesn't really give anything away yet.)

Take it away, Hettie!

We have here a prologue of perhaps the worst sort: narratively bereft and wallowing in explication of the characters whose proper story follows in chapter one. It’s inexcusable, really, and I implore you to skip it if you’ve anything but the deepest well of readerly patience. -- HHW

Prologue:

About a crackly campfire they had disposed themselves, bellies full of that strain of victuals in which only a caravan cook might take pride. Some moth of meager vision or sense blundered its way into the flames and expired in a scant mortal flare, at which point one traveler – a woman unexceptional in countenance yet with the bearing of a proud and mighty bulwark set to forfend some noble principality – took it upon herself to make introductions.

“Helga,” she announced, “also called ‘the Pure,’ servant of Bronzellia, in whose mould of truth alloyed with valor I can only hope I am cast. It’s a boon to find myself among folk of such variety and interest – would any of you care to exchange names as well?”

They all looked at her, took in the grey-threaded braids hanging half the length of her back, in hue aging and earthy; saw dangling about her neck the emblem of her faith, a smith’s tongs cast from admixed copper and tin. For possessions, she had armor, shield, and a fresh, undented mace. As quiet fell and lay upon the circle, the doomed moth’s fellows gave pause in their flits and flights of mourning about the fire – or perhaps simply rode for a moment’s ease, borne up on the thermal rise. Other moths around other fires continued as ever, and with them the murmured conversation of those other fires’ coteries.

A few pops and sparks from the fire elapsed, at which point a charming robed fellow, six to Helga’s nine on the clock-face of their little circle and bearing swept-back hair the color of autumn leaves bleached by sun, stepped in to salvage the priestess’s efforts from awkward death by silence.

“Far and wide,” he said, gaze dancing lively diner-to-diner around the circle, “with at least a mild notoriety, I am known as Slevius the Magician. Should anyone have doubt or even mere curiosity, I’ll happily demonstrate my prestidigitatious wonders once we’ve had introductions all around and perhaps a bit of chit-chat.”

Though he accompanied this with a convivial smile and had features both kindly and pleasant, the elf beside him gave a dubious glance down her gracile nose. He returned the look with a continued beaming, though, and she held the fey barbs of her woods-whetted tongue while several others joined the go-round in quick order.

“Shyly the Sneezer,” said an amiable fellow blessed with coffee-dark skin and waves of hair rich as the night sky. He cut a sharp figure in fighting leathers, a slim sword and sling at his belt. Of this man, the narrow gaze of the elf lass withheld any visible judgment. “No idea where I picked up that nickname – you can dust me in pollen or blow ground pepper at my face and I promise this nose will hold fast.”

Next in turn: a woman pallid in complexion, eyes sculpted by some lineage beyond the sunrise horizon, words contoured by an accent lustrous and lilting.

“Excuse, kind ones, my labor with the fine tongue of such domains. Please call me Generous Jiji.” Beside her rested a pack, and propped against it the gleaming contours of a plate-mail suit. The remainder of her kit consisted in a quiver, a bow, and a long-hafted glaive. Recollection struck her, and she added, “There are wineskins in my rucksack! Should anyone want some.”

Two places away, and with the spryness of any dwarf offered wine, a man popped to his feet.

“Where wine’s at hand,” he said, “every visitor’s an envoy and a diplomat heartily received. Truffus Trundler’s the name, eager to toast your generosity, noble Jiji.”

The introductions suspended themselves as all in attendance watched Truffus accept the woman’s offer, tilt back his head, and let pour a cataract of wine through wide, waiting lips. Under his beard of grey-shot red, the dwarf’s throat worked at a steady rhythm, turning Jiji’s wineskin from fatted to flaccid to starveling-flat. Then he handed it back to her as she blinked, gave a brief word of thanks, and returned to his own stock of gear – arms and armor and a large but largely empty sack.

Again the moths danced and faraway gabbles from other campfires reached their ears.

“Yeljea the Axe-grinder,” said a hefty, taciturn woman. She broke the silence no further, though, which left only the sharp-visaged elf – not yet out of her plate armor, shining in the firelight, its filigrees silver and sylvan at once.

“I,” spoke this one, “am Tanquara the Just.” In a tone directed at Truffus and gelid as some glacial polar gorge, she added, “I wouldn’t call it fair of you to drain kind Jiji’s wine away to nothing like that.”

The dwarf shrugged and scratched his close-shaved scalp. “Not like I pushed anyone out of the way to grab it. You all could have spoken up when she offered, or asked a swig of me before I’d done.”

A haughty turn of the elf’s chin set swinging the gold cascade of her hair and also showed her profile to elegant advantage (not the most dwarfly in proportion, yet still worth appreciating to Truffus’ eye).

From there, turns of talk smattered their way into existence: Slevius the Magician inquiring gregariously of each gathered soul, Helga expounding the virtures of deific Bronzellia, Jiji offering descriptions of far lands mundane to her but exotic to the rest. Shyly touted the value of a sling above the shortbows carried by several amongst them; all archers in attendance caught this lecture in the whorls of dubious ears. When the slinger had done, Truffus lobbed a blunt stone of dwarven jest at the entire thesis, forcing Tanquara to suppress the corners of her elfin mouth, which strove upward with vernal rebellion against her masque of winter’s forest’s frost.

The tenor of this campfire assemblage evolved gradually toward the comradely, faltering only a moment when Slevius attempted his promised exhibition of high mysticism:

“Gabazz Gallaboo!” he conjured with a series of gesticulations at Truffus Trundler. “Bevrak Tresquedieu!”

“What’s this, then?” asked the dwarf.

Slevius looked from Trundler to his hands in consternation. “Hmm. Sorry, I must be more tired from the long day of travel than I thought.”

“Or you’ve failed to account for the resilience of dwarvenkind, manipulator!” The haught in Tanquara’s tone – evident but placid throughout the evening – shifted closer to wroth. “Do you always attempt to ensorcel newfound acquaintances and bend them to your will as thralls?”

Yeljea, laconic throughout all before, stood quickly, hand to battleaxe. “Entrancements is it? Try that on me and I’ll split your head open!”

Knowing the fame of elven arcana, Slevius made no denial, but laughed good-naturely with a wide-spread, placating gesture. “A charm to prompt good Truffus into an apology about guzzling Lady Jiji’s wine. I thought it worth a shot – we all know a dwarf cares for tact and expiation as much as he does the open sky.”

Truffus gave a snort. “Tact! That’s for dainties and side-steppers like elves!”

At least half the company found this worth a chuckle, so the matter lapsed, except for a hint of that pink that passes for elven choler, visiting a tinge upon Tanquara’s fair cheeks.

Of further note, only one fateful exchange remained for the evening: a passing caravan hand perceived them to be of a kind and asked if such heroic and well armed companions intended challenging the nearby Crystal Caves. “Perhaps in search of Nogfolio’s fabled brass hand, to arm yourselves with its bolts of electric chaos against villains and vermin alike?”

Before any could correct the woman and declare them bound by no affiliation but the Society of Strangers by Campfires, Shyly spoke up.

“Are those close?” he asked. “If they’re the Crystal Caves I’ve heard told of, didn’t they once play host to human sacrifices? And aren’t devils still said to dwell there?”

“I can’t speak to the devilry,” the caravaner replied, “but tomorrow we’ll cross a bridge over the Winkling Stream, and if you follow it two days east, you’ll find the caves and can see for yourselves.”

“Devils!” The word left Helga’s tongue like something vile and low and begging to be spat out. “If such can truly be found this close at hand to civilization, we should visit and purge them!”

“Devils, I’m in for,” said Truffus. “But I thought Nogfolio breathed his last in the haunts of mischievous faeries, not the pits of demonkind. Faeries put a hair up my crack, if I’m honest.”

A shared and mutually narrowed glance passed between the dwarf and the company’s lone fey.

“Well,” said the caravaner, “I don’t know about all of that. But the Brass Hand of Stormbrands ... that’s sure a fine piece of treasure if you could find it.”

Tanquara spoke up. “If there are devils to be vanquished, my blade stands ready.” After a moment of biting back concession, she added, “Against the wrong sorts of faeries too I suppose. Since being mischievous isn’t the most just thing to do.”

Across the fire, Jiji put two fingers to her chin and nodded. “It’s generous to protect everyone from devils. Yes.”

“No thank you to devils,” Yeljea put in. “I”ll stick to the caravan myself.”

“And you, charmster Slevius?” asked Truffus Trundler.

The magician tipped his head to one side and let his gaze go starward. “Mmm ... I think I’ll see how I feel about it in the morning.”

Saturday, June 4, 2022

Dungeons and Dragons Dammit!

Okay, folks, it's happening. We've played Dungeon Crawl Classics. We've played Broken Worlds. We've played Mothership. Now we're actually going to play THE roleplaying game, Dungeons and Dragons!

I mean, technically not really, but I'm counting it.

It's actually some kinda authorized knockoff game that uses the exact rules from the old days of Dungeons and Dragons (totally before I was born!), but it's the exact rules, so come on. How am I going to play the exact rules of Dungeons and Dragons and not call it Dungeons and Dragons?And have you looked at those original rules? Because the Boyfriend found a PDF of them online and ... whooo-eee, ugly! Like, such bad typography and layout! So badly organized!

The knockoff is way better.

Anyhow, we were trying to figure out if we were actually going to play it, and that meant we had to try and figure out who would be the Dungeon Master, and I was like, Yaaas! ME!

All those other games have their own names for the Dungeon Master and none of them is as cool as "Dungeon Master."

Who could seriously expect me to play using the exact rules of Dungeons and Dragons and call it something else and have the person in charge be called the "Referee"???

No. Revolution time, suckers! I depose you, knockoff name of knockoff game! We're saying "Dungeons and Dragons" and "Dungeon Master" and since I'm the one in charge, who's gonna stop me?

So. D&D. It's on.

Maybe I'll even blog about how it goes.

Wait and see!

Saturday, May 14, 2022

CRAZYHAIR

I really need to brush my ding-dang hair. What a mess!

And not just the tangles and the frizzy ends -- I think there's something sticky in there somewhere too. Man, I sure hope that was from having a super-sonic-gin-and-tonic fun time, and not because I like, fell asleep eating ice cream or something.

Wednesday, May 4, 2022

It's Star Wars Day, Bitches!

What, just the title isn't enough for you? Okay, well, we got a kickass new Obi-Wan Kenobi trailer today, too, so all is super-swell and good.

Still not enough? Damn, dude, how much do you expect out of me?

Alright then ... time for a Star Wars Day Resolution!

Aers and I are going to blog the shit out of this Kenobi series on our Experiences blog.

That's not a promise, it's a threat!

May the 4th be with you, absolutamente siempre!

The Boot!

You ever have somebody just plain drag you down? I hope not, because,  oof!  That's the worst! Now you're wondering how I know this,...