Case Closed!

So get this. Yesterday, my otherwise espléndido boyfriend tells me -- IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX -- that I'm his most "mysterious" girlfriend.

What!!!

I mean, peeps, I think I'm pretty wackadoo straightforward as girlfriends go, especially compared to some of the other ladies around here.

It's like, advertising for me would say, "SASHA! What you see is WHAT YOU GET!"

If there's any mystery going on, it's why in the world I answered him back with, "Huh? What are you talking about?" instead of saying, "Dude! Can you please FOCUS?!?"

(Okay, so actually, he was multi-tasking excelentemente right then, and I don't mind a talk-it-while-you-rock-it convo in general, but it was still a weird-ass statement, you know?)

So I made him explain himself, which he did, with appropriate pauses for more urgent issues.

And the short version is, he said he meant he's always learning things about me, and I'm always surprising to him. And that makes him wonder what other things there still are for him to learn that I haven't let him in on yet.

Which, obviously, I then said, "Dude, that's not mystery. That's just personal growth and me not being so full of myself I'd keep yammering away about me, me, me until you knew everything there was to know. And the 'always surprising' part is called SPONTANEITY."

(Pause for a second here. Is it just me, or does that word look TOTALLY WRONG in all caps? Like, my brain doesn't even want to recognize the damn thing. Although ... maybe the all-caps just made me notice it being a weird-looking word. How about we try it without the caps ... "spontaneity." Okay, yeah, it looks weird as crap that way too. I think it's because the vowels. I was going to say because the vowels are mixed up, but then I realized, no, there are just too many of them. Why didn't they go ahead and put a U in there too just to hit them all? But anyway, the vowels are def backwards, at least the A and the E. I can't be the only one who saying it spontehnayity, right?)

All right, actually that's not what I said, I'll admit it. But it's what I would have said if I wasn't busy saying, "Oh! Yes! Holy sh*t, yes! There, baby, right there!"

Anyway, long story short, he's crazy, there's nothing mysterious about me at all. 

Although I did maybe take advantage of him saying that to order him to "plumb my depths" several times before I let him up.