Because Guys Are Like That, You Know?

So Ariel and I have not experienced the Lord of the Rings yet, but Hettie was telling us the book started off as this dude making up his own languages just for funsies and then deciding he needed to come up with a story about the people who spoke these languages.

So then naturally I had the thought of, "What if actually he made up the languages to write porn in because he didn't want anybody to know he was writing porn for himself, and then once he made up the languages and wrote some porn in them, he got worried people would figure out that's what he'd done, so he made up these whole other stories to cover his tracks?"

That's Gross. And Littering.

Okay, everybody, blog post number two. Let's set this thing on fire!

You'd think that would be a great start for a post, but now it's just got me thinking about somebody setting a number two on fire. So I should backspace and write something else, right?

Only what I thought of instead was, blog post number two: this is where the rubber hits the road.

Which, right after I thought of it, was where the title up above came from.

If I come back for a post number three after this, you'll know I've actually legit started a blog.

Until then, be sure you put the "iao" in "ciao!"

Sashagirl

What? Why?!?

I already have a whole other blog with my girlfriend Ariel, but for some reason my boyfriend was talking the other day like, "Maybe you should have a blog where you just express yourself." And the rest of our polyfam was like, "Yes!" or "I agree!" or "Just humor him."

So here I am setting up my own blog for all by myself, which honestly I'm thinking will either be more boring to do or more lonely than blogging with Ariel, but I'm doing it anyway because my Role Model, Claire, also blogs and also is very optimistic. And I like to think I'm pretty optimistic too, so that's that, now I'm blogging and being hopeful it doesn't turn out all yawwwwnnnn.

All right. Reason for blogging: established.

Also, I expressed myself about my reason for blogging, which means self-expression: done.

But I'm pretty sure if I say, "Well, that's that. Mission accomplished!" and sign off, somebody will complain I'm being an avoider or, worse, lazy.

Which means, what next?

I guess I could autobiographize like, "My name is Sasha Natasha Worthy. I live in a house with my boyfriend and four girlfriends, and ..."

BORRRRINNNG!

Okay, so instead, seeing as how I like role-playing, I will role-play the parts of my polys talking about me.

Boyfriend: "Sash is our wonderful, sassy little minx and resident over-excitable hotsy. Boy, is she ever hot! So hot, you'd think I would only be able to think about boinking her, but somehow I also find time to pester her about expressing herself. Why? Am I not that keen on boinking? Do I not have writing of my own that I ought to be doing instead of bugging her? These are mysterious questions that, like many questions about the universe, may be unanswerable. But I am one contemplative dude, so I must contemplate them, just like I contemplated myself into thinking Sash needed to express her individuality more."

Blond girlfriend and blogging partner, Ariel: "Oh, gosh. Didn't he just say everything? I feel like it would be an awful lot of work to figure out what else there could be to say about you. I think I'll go take a nap."

Other blond girlfriend, Elle: "Don't look at me -- I think blogging sucks, which anyone who had read my blog would know. Also ... all I get is 'other blond girlfriend?' Wow, high praise there, Sash. Doesn't make me feel generic or undervalued at all."

Newest girlfriend, Harriet: "Ah, the indubitable Sashsa? How might I best wax loquacious on her innumerable laudable attributes? She is more beautiful than an ascendant sun that breaches some grand, purple-shadowed horizon with its fire. More vivacious than a spring-wound, electrified vivaciotometer! More versatile than all the words for versatility in my thesaurus!"

Role Model girlfriend, Claire: "Sasha, you know if you make fun of me by having me say something goofy about you, you're going to feel guilty about it later because you look up to me so much and wouldn't ever want anyone to think there was anything about me that might be mockable, right? Maybe just skip me."

Dammit, I did not even come close to getting Claire right. I guess it's easier to make fun of people for being a busybody, or being lazy, or being sarcasmic, or being crazy able to put big words together, than to make fun of them for being amazing. I mean, they're all amazing, but it's way easier to poke at people's quirks when their quirks are ridiculous. But Claire doesn't really have anything ridiculous about her to ... wait, no, it's coming to me!

Role Model girlfriend, Claire: "Sasha? Well the little dearie is just so young and spry, isn't she? Oh, she makes me feel so young at heart, even though I'm such a creaky old geezer. She's just bursting with youth, in the full prime of her prime primeness, compared to my old past-it-ness over-the-hillity. You just want to pinch her sassy little cheek!"

Well, still not that great, but I'm going with that one anyhow.

Okay ... reason for blogging, check ... self-expression, check ... mockery of my absolute favorite people in the world, check.

I think I'm done for now, folks. So until the next time they twist my arm into doing this ...

Bye!

Sashagirl